My sheets look like a crime scene.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
