My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
