One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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