I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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