Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
