Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
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