Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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