just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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