Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Im part way to drunk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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