I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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