So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
