So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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