we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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