I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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