I'm jealous of your bromance
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
