Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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