OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
