just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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