Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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