Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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