I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
