it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize