I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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