ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Houston, we have a squirter
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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