But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
