He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
