OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
