So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Text me some of your sweat
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
