Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
