this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize