i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
How external is "for external use only"?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
