I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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