his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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