lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
