Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
