VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My bed smells like the plague
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
