I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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