:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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