We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
