I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
