I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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