I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
