Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
