we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
