My friends, they love my intelligence
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
