he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
