Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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