Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
