do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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