y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
