they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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