you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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