Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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(619): thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina http://tfl.nu/dtrt

Replies (29) Good night (6295) Bad night (964)
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(602): View more from Arizona

and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"

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(602): and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time" http://tfl.nu/r7we

Replies (40) Good night (8541) Bad night (3214)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

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(864): I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me. http://tfl.nu/y5s2

Replies (30) Good night (5939) Bad night (1287)
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(914): View more from New York

You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.

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(914): You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property. http://tfl.nu/9au5

Replies (14) Good night (5291) Bad night (1058)
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(206): View more from Washington

he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...

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(206): he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker... http://tfl.nu/z1il

Replies (16) Good night (5291) Bad night (1299)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.

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(706): Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain. http://tfl.nu/4t48

Replies (11) Good night (2507) Bad night (1031)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.

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(504): Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later. http://tfl.nu/kqj9

Replies (9) Good night (1702) Bad night (1454)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.

(847): View more from Illinois

Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st

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(773): I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head. (847): Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st http://tfl.nu/ptod

Replies (6) Good night (3532) Bad night (1048)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.

(732): View more from New Jersey

You said you were "testing the product for Chris."

(848): View more from New Jersey

I'm a bad man.

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(732): While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing. (732): You said you were "testing the product for Chris." (848): I'm a bad man. http://tfl.nu/x77n

Replies (2) Good night (1661) Bad night (917)
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(530): View more from California

I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big

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(530): I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big http://tfl.nu/j8o0

Replies (8) Good night (1437) Bad night (543)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.

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(575): Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies. http://tfl.nu/3spj

Replies (4) Good night (681) Bad night (1136)
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(209): View more from California

His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.

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(209): His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fo7

Replies (9) Good night (1489) Bad night (677)
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(801): View more from Utah

I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

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(801): I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck. http://tfl.nu/p42i

Replies (2) Good night (998) Bad night (408)
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(718): View more from New York

GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?

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(718): GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators? http://tfl.nu/ewjm

Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (378)
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(714): View more from California

Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing

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(714): Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing http://tfl.nu/254j

Replies (3) Good night (273) Bad night (234)

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