"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.