Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
