No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He better not be in your backpack
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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