im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
