Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
