so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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