I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
