I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
