There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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