so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When are your genitals available?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
