I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
