It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
