he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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