I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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